08/04/13

My ego is really experiencing pain right now. I feel awful and no one deserves to feel this way.  This is not the normal me because little things doesn't affect me. But why? Ironically speaking I'm trying to save the small piece of humanity inside me. I still have my number one (conscience) and number twwo (guilt). My brain won't agree same as my body. I've always really wanted to feel nothing. Not to be affected of the people around me or the words I hear from them and the things they say to me. I am trying to stay away from people who can affect me that much, I'm protecting myself. I'm really thankful because of this blog site because I can type things as much as I want and express everything that circulates all over my mind that always shakes me off. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? How to face this? I hope my laptop will answer me. This kind of feeling is quite depressing. Can I just forgive them? What if they were not the one who did wrong? What if I'm the one who is broken on the first place? The problem is in me? How can I fix this? I'm trying my best to reach out to them. I guess it's not working!

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I am talking to my good friend right now and she gave me some deep advice that could comfort me.

 "Whatever u do they'll just hear what they wanna hear

Think what they wanna think

Not ur fault"

She really is a smart lazy ass. She knows me well and how to make me feel better even she's the most 

emotionless kid I know who doesn't get affected easily by something or someone unless it's a family

thing. I'm really thankful even she doesn't talk that much and she really has a big baggage 

of emotionless soul.

She made me realize that

 "There will always be those people who are close minded"