Let me first preface this by saying that all things considered, men, you are doing great. In the age of blurred lines and a whole spectrum of relationships, ranging from respectful but casual hookups to lifetime partners-in-crime, it’s hard to decipher what’s “so-called” appropriate behavior when courting a woman. Even just the very idea of courting a woman seems antiquated.
So yes, when we think about all the nuances of getting to know someone else over a long period of time, you guys have clearly read up on your Men’s Health. But what you’re lacking is a little more Shakespeare.
Especially for the starry-eyed lovers of the world, we have accordingly calibrated our expectations of the men in our lives to match what a contemporary relationship calls for.
We’ve replaced hand-written love letters with inches of text on a mobile phone. We immediately take action to fix things instead of just taking the time to listen.
It’s romance 2.0. And while it’s special and sweet and still gets us excited when your name pops up on our messages, we get nostalgic for the old-school tender gestures. The kind that are distinctly charming not just because they are rare, but also because they are meaningful.
These are things that, despite being small or traditional, will always be significant and appreciated. In fact, we wish you guys did these things more (really, a lot of these are to your benefit as well as ours anyway!).
Keep up the good work, guys. And if you really want to seal the deal, pull one of these moves out of your boxer briefs. These are the 10 things that guys used to do and we wish they still did (or, at least, more often):
1. Hug us from behind
That initial surprise the moment we feel your arms touch that spot on our waist where our curves meet is always welcomed. It’s cheesy and we know it, but sometimes it’s nice to be enveloped in a man’s embrace. Wrapping us up against you is the body language equivalent of saying “I’ve got you” and it feels really, really good to hear.
2. Call before bed
Even if it’s just to make sure we’re not passing out in the hallway, a bedtime phone call is affectionate and thoughtful. You want us going to bed dreaming about you and not Lip from “Shameless”? You’ve got our numbers. #CallMe
3. Give us your worn-in sweatshirts
Or if you can’t part with those, vintage t-shirts will do just fine as well. When you’re not around to cuddle, we like snuggling with your clothes instead. And we’re not going to pretend like we don’t feel cute wearing your oversized garments. Bonus points if they still smell like you.
4. Have sex during the game
That’s why they invented halftime right? After watching the Giants take 20 minutes to get a first down, we’d appreciate at least some heavy petting – which we’d like to note doesn’t require any attention except from your hands. So you can do it while Russell Wilson completes his pass. Think of it as a play for play.
5. Pick us up
A spin really completes the move, just saying. Do you remember the last time someone lifted you up? I mean this literally. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it’s a dramatic moment that reminds us of your strength and your ability to sweep us off our feet, quite exactly. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the prince charming – he still comes with a sword.
6. Keep your creepy porn fetishes a secret
We’re not saying we don’t condone indulging in whatever turns you on, but if you are getting off to anything we wouldn’t remotely try (like, I don’t know, say humping Ferris wheels or something) then it’s best to keep that information to yourself. We’re not judging, but telling us you liked watching “2 Girls 1 Cup” kind of stays with a person.
7. Wear suits… and then give us their jacket
Men in suits are the equivalent of women in oxford button downs. It’s just plain sexy. And when you give us your coat, it’s pretty much like foreplay.
8. Go for it – romantically or otherwise
We’re all for a woman making the move and feeling confident, but the high of being wanted by someone else is equally important. Don’t hold back anymore. If you’re feeling it in the moment, whether it’s confessing your attraction or pushing back a strand of our hair, just go for it. In such an impersonal world, we crave that flicker of human connection.
9. Notice the small things
Maybe it’s the placement of your favorite freckle or the arch of your back when you’re lying together. When someone takes the time to appreciate your little features, it means something much bigger.
10. Wear a signature scent
The power of olfaction is a real thing. We’re all animals on some level and it’s in our nature to sniff you out. And even if it’s only for a night, we’ll always have your smell to remember you by.
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